The 10 Worst Movies of 2014
They can't all be winners. The past year has been full of memorable, wonderful new films, but you will not find any of them listed here. Here is the yin to the yang of terrific cinema. Steve and I will be recapping the year's best in short order, but first we are dispensing with the public-service-announcement portion of our 2014 in review. I am a big believer in the notion that you can learn a great deal about what makes movies work from ones that do not. On the other hand, I am nothing if not a pragmatist. People are busy. Spending two hours in front of a screen is a major commitment. If you're not watching a new movie every few days like us, then it can be particularly frustrating to lose time on a lousy flick.
The goal here, then, is to save you, our dear reader, some time by warning you off of some of the biggest wastes of the past year. With a note of dishonorable mention to in no particular order Magic in the Moonlight, Maleficent, Exodus: Gods and Kings, The Best Offer and They Came Together, here are the 10 worst movies of 2014.
[vc_row fullwidth="false"][vc_column width="1/3"][mk_circle_image src="http://inreeldeep.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/fantastic_fear_04.jpg" image_diameter="300"][/vc_column][vc_column width="2/3"][mk_fancy_title tag_name="h2" style="true" color="#9a1212" size="24" font_weight="inhert" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="18" font_family="none" align="left"]10. A Fantastic Fear of Everything[/mk_fancy_title]The prospect of a paranoid Simon Pegg traipsing around London in stained tighty whiteys seems like grist for a fine indie comedic mill. Unfortunately, Pegg's likability is squandered in a dreadfully dull story. Not having a review to fall back upon, I'm struggling to remember much about this film other than just being extremely bored by the amount of time spent on the unfunny, uninteresting paranoid fantasies of Pegg's character. How did delusions get to be so dull, anyway?[/vc_column][/vc_row]
[vc_row fullwidth="false"][vc_column width="1/3"][mk_circle_image src="http://inreeldeep.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/the-giver.jpg" image_diameter="300"][/vc_column][vc_column width="2/3"][mk_fancy_title tag_name="h2" style="true" color="#9a1212" size="24" font_weight="inhert" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="18" font_family="none" align="left"]9. The Giver[/mk_fancy_title]Even adjusting for a veritable sea of lackluster young adult novels that have been turned in to feature films of late, this was bitterly disappointing adaptation. Lois Lowry's well-known, well-read, beloved YA morality tale serves as an entree to Orwellian themes for many schoolchildren. It also subtly reassures youngsters that a full range of emotions -- joy and happiness, depression and despair -- are perfectly normal, healthy even. Sadly, very little of that subtlety is present in the Jeff Bridges/Brenton Thwaites-helmed film version. Director Phillip Noyce muddles what should be a philosophical tale by turning the final act in to a straightforward chase flick.[/vc_column][/vc_row]
[vc_row fullwidth="false"][vc_column width="1/3"][mk_circle_image src="http://inreeldeep.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/non-stop-movie-still-20.jpg" image_diameter="300"][/vc_column][vc_column width="2/3"][mk_fancy_title tag_name="h2" style="true" color="#9a1212" size="24" font_weight="inhert" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="18" font_family="none" align="left"]8. Non-Stop[/mk_fancy_title]Perhaps I'm not in the post-modern joke, but I simply do not understand the continuing appeal of watching Liam Neeson playing a minimally altered version of his character from Taken in other settings. It's accurate to surmise that Non-Stop is simply a dim-witted, unimaginative mashup of Taken and Snakes on a Plane. Less obvious, but much more of an indictment is the capable supporting cast -- including Julianne Moore, Michelle Dockery and Lupita Nyong'o -- out of whom little intrigue or interest is generated.[/vc_column][/vc_row]
[vc_row fullwidth="false"][vc_column width="1/3"][mk_circle_image src="http://inreeldeep.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Adewale-Akinnuoye-Agbaje-and-Kit-Harington-in-Pompeii-2014-Movie-Image1.jpg" image_diameter="300"][/vc_column][vc_column width="2/3"][mk_fancy_title tag_name="h2" style="true" color="#9a1212" size="24" font_weight="inhert" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="18" font_family="none" align="left"]7. Pompeii[/mk_fancy_title]Paul W.S. Anderson might have suffered from a little too much imagination with this "gladiatisaster" flick that puts Kit Harrington at the head of an impromptu slave rebellion that coincides with the infamous eruption of Mt. Vesuvius in 79 AD. No one is expecting nor do they desire a period piece thinker from the guy who brought us the Resident Evil movies and Death Race. It's a puzzler, then, that he chose to layer in an overly complex plot when you have a very simple, very powerful, highly compelling force in the volcano that is about to erupt. Unforgivable as all those sins might be, nothing is worse than his commitment to Kiefer Sutherland as the villain. Either let Sutherland go full Kevin-Costner-as-Robin-Hood or leave him out entirely. I'd rather listen to the next Nickelback album than watch Jack Bauer's failed attempts at an English accent.[/vc_column][/vc_row]
[vc_row fullwidth="false"][vc_column width="1/3"][mk_circle_image src="http://inreeldeep.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/the-amazing-spider-man-2-major-spoiler-plot-details-header.jpg" image_diameter="300"][/vc_column][vc_column width="2/3"][mk_fancy_title tag_name="h2" style="true" color="#9a1212" size="24" font_weight="inhert" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="18" font_family="none" align="left"]6. The Amazing Spider-Man 2[/mk_fancy_title]Being this critical of the latest Spidey film might be a symptom of my general frustration with comic book movies -- their safe banality, formulaic structure and oft-cynical franchising of an artform. I can admit that. But anyone who has seen the latest installment in this rebooted film series must also admit that this is a truly terrible film. Like a couple of the other films on this list, TAS2 suffers from a glut of villains -- Jamie Foxx as Electro, Dane DeHaan as Green Goblin, a bizarrely timed appearance by Paul Giamatti as Rhino. It also shares the unfortunate distinction of wasting its principal talents. Andrew Garfield brings something different -- something more -- to the role of Peter Parker than his predecessor Tobey Maguire. Garfield is given little room to breathe, and so Spidey continues to drown.[/vc_column][/vc_row]
[vc_row fullwidth="false"][vc_column width="1/3"][mk_circle_image src="http://inreeldeep.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img-300-rise-of-an-empire07.jpg" image_diameter="300"][/vc_column][vc_column width="2/3"][mk_fancy_title tag_name="h2" style="true" color="#9a1212" size="24" font_weight="inhert" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="18" font_family="none" align="left"]5. 300: Rise of an Empire[/mk_fancy_title]This is a classic failed sequel. It lacks the novelty of the original 300, which, as I've contended before, is more influential on the action genre than people are willing to admit. In place of visual inspiration is an overcomplicated plot that intertwines real and fictional characters in a misguided attempt to educate its audience on a particularly interesting moment in Ancient Greek history. Much like Pompeii, a far simpler story would have been a lot more effective. So too would the influence of someone -- anyone -- with a semblance of an idea about what to do with poor Eva Green. Having seemingly strong female characters doesn't shield you from appearing sexist. In the case of Rise an Empire, and Green's Artemesia, it might be stronger cause for an indictment.[/vc_column][/vc_row]
[vc_row fullwidth="false"][vc_column width="1/3"][mk_circle_image src="http://inreeldeep.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/ef8beb63d3c9713c311259d2737c2db3.jpg" image_diameter="300"][/vc_column][vc_column width="2/3"][mk_fancy_title tag_name="h2" style="true" color="#9a1212" size="24" font_weight="inhert" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="18" font_family="none" align="left"]4. I, Frankenstein[/mk_fancy_title]As derivative in inspiration as it is poorly written, this is a film that, much like Mary Shelley's monster, would have been better off dead, piled in a stack of unused scripts in the military warehouse from Raiders of the Lost Ark. From Aaron Eckhart's recycling of the Two Face voice to the Matrix-inspired colony of humans to casting Bill Nighy of Underworld fame as the villain, nothing about this concept felt remotely fresh, and it showed for each and every one of the painful 92 minutes that the film ran.[/vc_column][/vc_row]
[vc_row fullwidth="false"][vc_column width="1/3"][mk_circle_image src="http://inreeldeep.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/the-legend-of-hercules.jpg" image_diameter="300"][/vc_column][vc_column width="2/3"][mk_fancy_title tag_name="h2" style="true" color="#9a1212" size="24" font_weight="inhert" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="18" font_family="none" align="left"]3. The Legend of Hercules[/mk_fancy_title]It wasn't a great year for antiquity as this list suggests, but for all the regrettable armor-and-loincloth fueled films in 2014, this one was easily the worst. Kellan Lutz has all the charisma of a steroid-infused mop as the titular character, but I'm not sure there is any actor alive who could have redeemed a small part of it. The biggest puzzle of all might be that this even got a wide release in theaters. It certainly has the appeal and the polish of a straight-to-the-bargain-bin DVD.[/vc_column][/vc_row]
[vc_row fullwidth="false"][vc_column width="1/3"][mk_circle_image src="http://inreeldeep.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/film_review_gimme_shelter_87553217.jpg" image_diameter="300"][/vc_column][vc_column width="2/3"][mk_fancy_title tag_name="h2" style="true" color="#9a1212" size="24" font_weight="inhert" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="18" font_family="none" align="left"]2. Gimme Shelter[/mk_fancy_title]Gimme Shelter delivers an ugly message with ugly writing and caricaturish performances from the likes of Vanessa Hudgens, Rosario Dawson and Brendan Fraser. Perhaps this laughable pro-life yarn's existence is the universe's way of balancing out the absolute delight that was Obvious Child. We can't have too much of a good thing now, can we?[/vc_column][/vc_row]
[vc_row fullwidth="false"][vc_column width="1/3"][mk_circle_image src="http://inreeldeep.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/film_review_labor_day-1.jpg" image_diameter="300"][/vc_column][vc_column width="2/3"][mk_fancy_title tag_name="h2" style="true" color="#9a1212" size="24" font_weight="inhert" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="18" font_family="none" align="left"]1. Labor Day[/mk_fancy_title]Truth be told, I'm not certain this was the absolute worst film of the year ... but, there was that one scene. People who have had the misfortune of seeing the film will know instantly what I'm referring to, but for those of you who have not (and please keep it that way), let's say it involves the escaped convict character played by Josh Brolin sensually blending the filling of a peach pie with the fragile single mother character played by Kate Winslet. Not that the rest of the story is any good, but this particular scene is an all-timer. I will probably end up forgetting the very existence of most of the other movies on this list, but I will never forget Labor Day. It is quite literally memorably awful, and that pushes it all the way to the top of this dubious list. What the hell happened to Jason Reitman?[/vc_column][/vc_row]