The (Un)official 'Piranha 3DD' Production Checklist


I've spent the last week or so mocking the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences and assorted other Hollywood farthuffers, so let's get back to one of my favorite pastimes -- mocking the idiotic fare Hollywood pumps out that doesn't fall under the "magic of movies" umbrella so haughtily hoisted during Oscars season. The official trailer for Piranha 3DD is out and is posted above for your enjoyment. A quick summary just in case you don't take the time to watch it in its full glory -- Piranha 3DD will feature gratuitous nudity, murderous prehistoric fish, Doc Brown, Ving Rhames, David Hasselhoff, Gary Busey feasting on said murderous prehistoric fish and, naturally, a machine gun leg.

If you're batting an eye at any of this, clearly you didn't see 2010's Piranha 3D, a pure horror exploitation film that, if you share my twisted sense of humor, was an utter delight. You might think all of this is ridiculous upon seeing the trailer. My first two thoughts, in order, were: (a.) will Jerry O'Connell's severed penis have a cameo and (b.) what is the U.S. release date so I can be sure to be present on opening night?

Sometime long after I got done scouring IMDB for said release date (there's nothing official yet, fans) I began thinking, as I often do, about the process for getting a green light on a movie in Hollywood. For, say, The Artist, this is an arduous process apparently. It's certainly never a foregone concluson.

For something like Piranha 3DD, though, the process seems very simple, at least as I imagine it. It seems so simple, in fact, that I've created out of thin air stolen procured this production checklist from Dimension Films, the studio that will release Piranha 3DD at some point (soon I hope!) in 2012.

The Official Piranha 3DD Checklist